Saturday, May 27, 2006

the first deep wound of sacred marriage

Have you ever been faced with a really difficult question? Is it possible that many small questions make up the sum of the one larger question?

Once again I find myself in the sacred narrative of history. Abram is confronted with a life size question in the face of desperation. He has set out on the journey to leave the country that he has known, from his father’s house to go to the land that God will show him, along the way a famine forces him to go down to Egypt. Pharaoh wants to know who the beautiful woman is that he is traveling with. Realizing that if he says it is his wife, he will be killed. He answers that she is his sister. His question is “Will I trust the promise of God or will I lean on my own means of security?

I wonder how this made Sarai feel. Did she think he cares more about his own hide than our marriage? Was this the beginning of the seed of doubt for Sarai that spurred on her rebellious spirit to try and bring about the “blessing of God” (Gen 12) by her own means?
Did she think her husband was a coward in the face of uncertainty? Did she think that their future was now up to her to provide? How old is this wound? Does this wound speak to more than just Sarai? Is this a deep wound that runs though generations of wives even today?

The ripple effect of “Sarai is my sister:”
His wife is stripped away from him possibly physically violated by Pharaoh
His is left alone to wonder if she will ever come home
His wealth on account of his lie results in the division of his family (Lot)
The Egyptian maidservants provides the temptation to further his own seed (Hagar)
The implications of this span the course of the next 12 years of Abram’s life…..

Here is the question I am asking myself: Will I take into my own hands my family’s future promise or will I trust in the promise of life from the LORD?

As a man of God, will I be tempted to make a choice in order to avoid losing my life as the first great test? Will I keep sacred the bond of marriage in the face of great disparity?
How I answer that question has huge implications for the rest of my family. Will I continue to foster the first wound of marriage or will I stand and claim “she is my wife!”

Although not what God had intended, he uses all of it to bring about redemptive history. A second chance is given. How does the story end?

3 comments:

Brian said...

"But you, dress for action; stand up and tell them everything I order you to say. When you confront them, don't break down; or I will break you down in front of them! For today, you see, I have made you into a fortified city, a pillar of iron, a wall of bronze against the whole land - against the kings of Y'hudah (Judah), against its princes, against its cohanim (priests) and the people of the land. They will fight against you, but they will not overcome you, for I am with you," says ADONAI, "to rescue you." (Jer. 1:17-19, The Complete Jewish Bible)

RJ said...

Michael, My brothah, welcome back to florida. i am glad your trip to Texas was a good one (or so according to Darla's blog :)) I am so thoroughly impressed with your self-awareness amidst this struggle in your heart! I am very much so in the midst of my own similar struggle and as always I appreciate the God-of-all-creation's role in my life by allowing me to know and gather with others who are journeying through their lives as I am mine...one day at a time, and hopefully under the guidance of our great God. I have missed ya bro and I hope to see you soon. maybe we could grab lunch this week! I am praying for you, and just know that I thank God for you, Darla and your family for joining into my life and becoming yet another extension of mine! Much love and many blessings according to his will!

::RJ

mdwinn said...

Hey Mr Seth, good to hear from you... I would recommend "eat this book" by eugene peterson. Darla is devouring. She says it is yummie!

Brian, I love the God of rescue!

RJ, hey man thanls for your comment. I am also thankful for our new connection! I will give you a call this week. C-ya