broken camera - lens of life is cracked

things are breaking all around us. this week our garage door buckled while trying to close, today while walking at lake ella our camera dropped and busted into two pieces, and then this afternoon one of our girls pushed a boy down and he fell on his glasses cracking the lens. his mom came down and told me that he had just bought the glasses and they were nearly $200. she is a single mom i think and has five boys one who has mental disabilities. who knows what kind of life she really has behind the doors of her house.

ok all of this is going to sound really stupid but here it is. we sold all of our stuff because we were hoping to move to hawaii to start a creative community center or something like that. now we are back in our house and have minimal stuff. the minimal stuff is not so bad. but we have no lawn equipment and now it is time to do spring yard work. it is a different feeling not being able to just go out and do what it is you need to do because you don't have the tools to do it. it sort of is a trapped kind of feeling.

yes we have neighbors and friends who would gladly let us borrow their lawn stuff, but that flows against the grain of being self sufficient. so does being self sufficient somehow work against the idea of community?

now the family camera is broken, this has become almost a 6th member of our family. we have shared many moments of our life with our friends through the pictures taken from our camera. but does a broken garage door come first? not to mention my wife's glasses are just about out of prescription. oh yeah i forgot that the timer on our dryer doesn't work so sometimes it just goes for hours and hours if we fall asleep and forget to check it. oh yeah and the ceiling fan in delaney's room doesn't work, well the light part works but the fan part doesn't. is it neglecting these things or is it trying to get by with minimal stuff? at this point i really don't know.

is this the grip of materialism or is it being lazy or is this simply being retarded? once again i don't know. and if all men struggle with wanting to fix things what does all this broken stuff say about me. i really don't like this post one bit. in fact i think i should just delete it. i really don't want all you people out there to know that i am this whacked out about this silly crap.