Lent is difficult

For me Lent has been a reminder of my brokenness. Broken thoughts. Broken speech. Broken actions. Lent is an individual journey, but I think it is something that can be shared with someone close, if you are willing to enter into it whole heartedly.

The closest person that I can tell my deep dark struggles is my wife. We have come to the place where we are giving each other room to stumble into the mystery of faith. There is no pretending or putting on the mask. Vulnerability is a scary proposition for anyone.

Am I willing to risk the loss of my most treasured friend by disclosing the underground world of my temptations? As I enter into the confessional space with my soul mate, the questions of doubt roll of my tongue. The little voice in my mind tells me she will not understand, she will think less of me, she will think I am weak. Don’t go there!!!

In fear and trembling I confess the ever subtle shades of evil that lurk in my heart. Almost immediately I am internally confronted with accusations of failure and disappointment. Once again I am a child, asking the question, will you still love me if you know what is deep down inside?

Lent is difficult. Sharing this Lent season with my wife may be the closest understanding I can comprehend of the grace of God. A grace made known in the life, death, and resurrection in Jesus Christ. There must be a deep connection between an honest marriage where grace and mercy abound. Just as Darla gives me space to fall, Jesus gives me the stumbling space to explore the fullness of his mercy. Confessional space is where his heart finds mine and we are reconciled to one another. In him the accusations are dispelled and I am found again. I am truly loved beyond all I can comprehend. In my tears, the waves of forgiveness roll in and I swept into his Love.

There is nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ.

May you come to know again the joy of your salvation in this season of Lent.